AYESHA RASCOE, HOST:
When it comes to finding love, people are ghosting dating apps. Match Group, the company that owns Tinder, Hinge and OkCupid, recently reported drops in the total number of paying users across its platforms. The popular dating app Bumble, owned by a different parent company, has also lost subscribers. Kathryn Coduto is a social scientist and associate professor at Boston University who studies online dating, and that must be very interesting. She joins me now. Good morning.
KATHRYN CODUTO: Good morning. How are you?
RASCOE: I am good. Now, why are people ditching dating apps?
CODUTO: There are a couple of different reasons, and I think one of the big ones has to do with overall technology fatigue. When you look at the world, especially since COVID, a lot of things went online, and I think people have missed connecting in real life. And dating is one of those things that people are very concerned about. They romanticize it, of course. And so when they look at what from their lives they might put back in person, dating is one of the first things to happen. And so that has really led to an increase in interest in in-person connection rather than focusing on the dating apps.
RASCOE: Can you put this drop in context? Like, how big is it, and is it steeper among certain demographics?
CODUTO: I think this is a great question. And what I think we're seeing is a relatively steady drop overall. But that's not to say that people are done with dating apps. A lot of people will still download them. They'll keep them on their phones as an option because they're really easy. But what you're especially seeing are drops in people who are paying.
So a lot of people will decide to keep their, you know, free app, maybe one that is ad-supported, but they're tired of paying for subscriptions or for kind of a la carte options in the apps. Gen Z and Millennials - they have always been a higher rate of user overall, and they're the ones who are starting to drop off a little more.
RASCOE: OK. So - and the apps, I mean, they can make dating feel mechanical. You often hear people saying that it can feel like you're a commodity and like, OK, I don't like this one. I'll just - you know, there are 10 more I can just swipe on. Is that part of what people are kind of maybe rebelling against a little bit, that they're missing the excitement of -and mystery of connecting?
CODUTO: Absolutely. I think you used so many great words in talking about it because I feel like when I've interviewed people about this, when I survey them, they are often talking about missing that magical element, that moment of seeing someone across the room and really starting to feel that connection.
And the apps - that was part of what made them popular at first was that sense of gamification, that instead of having to really look at someone's profile, instead of having to answer a lot of questions about yourself, instead, you could focus on this virtual card deck and swipe and swipe and swipe. And what has happened is that that novelty has really worn off, and now people feel like they're being really shallow, honestly.
RASCOE: Well, if people aren't meeting on the apps as much, where are people looking for love these days?
CODUTO: If you look, there has been an uptick in interest in speed dating events. So I'm in Boston, and there are more and more of these events around here, but also just people joining clubs where they might have mutual interests. So there's a lot of recent research looking at things like running clubs where you might go and say, this is something I enjoy. I would like to connect with people who also have this interest.
RASCOE: Yeah. They say that the running clubs are all about hooking up. No (laughter).
CODUTO: Yes. Yes, and that's what's been coming out more and more. And it makes a lot of sense because in my own research, one of the most important things that comes up as people look for partners is a sense of similarity, is having something in common that you can talk about, that you can do together. And so we are definitely seeing more people, especially, again, Gen Z and millennials, turn to these in-person options. And the other thing too is that, you know, if you decide to pay for a speed dating event, you are at least guaranteed face time with people, whereas if you pay on a dating app, you're still not guaranteed a match.
RASCOE: No, or to meet up in person. A lot of people just love to stay in the apps all day. They never ask you out. You never - they never. But I'll just ask myself. I'm that type of person. I would just be like, hey, you want to go somewhere?
CODUTO: That's what you have to do.
(LAUGHTER)
CODUTO: That's exactly what you have to do.
RASCOE: I'm not looking for a pen pal. But a lot of complaints that we hear about dating apps, it's really about how people behave on dating apps, like the ghosting and the catfishing and the not wanting to take you on no dates and just want to take you back to their house and all this stuff. Like, the apps won't be able to address that - right? - like, fundamental, like, mismatches in what people expect.
CODUTO: Exactly. And I - again, I think that's part of why it's such an interesting industry to follow and to study because so many of the complaints that people have, while some are based on the technology and how the technology makes you maybe think about people are dating, there are other complaints that are going to happen regardless of whether you meet someone online or in person because there are going to be those mismatches.
Now, I do think dating apps make a behavior like ghosting a little easier, but that's not something that's really on the dating apps. They cannot force you to message every single person that you match with. And so it is really interesting to see how people think about burnout with dating apps, but the burnout could also just come from dating overall.
RASCOE: That's Kathryn Coduto, an associate professor at Boston University. Thank you so much for joining us.
CODUTO: Thanks for having me. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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