Fort Worth families are processing grief side-by-side with help from this local group

Health & Wellness

Fort Worth families are processing grief side-by-side with help from this local group

四虎影院 | By Elena Rivera

Published January 19, 2022 at 5:00 AM CST

Erica Geisel, sitting at her kitchen table, a red and black checkerboard tablecloth covering the brown wood. In the background, a gray kitchen is piled high with appliances. — Erica Geisel first went to The WARM Place, a Fort Worth organization helping grieving families, a few months after her husband's passing in fall of 2020. "[You] are able to be open about your grief, what you're experiencing what it's looking like for your family, and get input from other parents."

Across the country, close to 850,000 people have died from COVID-19 since March 2020. It's put a spotlight on grief, and how people work through loss. One Fort Worth organization has helped grieving families find community support since the 1980s.

Erica Geisel鈥檚 kitchen is full of light. She sits at her table, looking out from her windows that peer into an expansive backyard. Her Tarrant County house is tucked away, as trucks piled high with building materials drive up and down the street.

Pictures of Erica, her husband, and their two kids cover the walls. In August of 2020, her husband Dan Geisel died unexpectedly due to sleep apnea. He was 41.

鈥淥ur worlds were just turned upside down,鈥� Geisel said. 鈥� Really no hope in sight. It's just such a tragic thing to go through, especially with a 5- and 7-year-old at the time.鈥�

In the midst of grief and looking for resources, Geisel's daughter asked if they were the only kids that had lost a father. She didn鈥檛 know where to turn.

Fortunately, a teacher at her daughter鈥檚 school introduced her to . The Fort Worth organization, which started in 1989, provides peer support for kids and families experiencing loss. Groups meet every other week for a meal and conversation.

鈥淭hat opened just a whole new door for them of hope and just light in the midst of our darkness,鈥� Geisel said. 鈥淚t's a safe place for us there.鈥�

A white, victorian house sits off of an empty sidewalk. A large stone sign with the words, "The WARM Place," are etched in bronze and gold. The house is surrounded by small, green trees. — The WARM Place got its start in 1989. Program Director Dana Minor explained "WARM" is an acronym, for "what about remembering me." "Being a children's grief organization, we want to continue to remember children and what they're going through," Minor said.

Designed to feel comforting, not clinical

Dana Minor, program director for The WARM Place, has been with the organization on and off since the 1990s. Along with leading volunteers and facilitators, she鈥檚 also a licensed professional counselor who worked in Fort Worth ISD.

The organization lives in a big, Victorian house with a wrap-around porch on the southside of Fort Worth. The first level has rooms where the groups meet, separated by barn doors. The rooms are decorated with colorful rugs, murals and photos of people鈥檚 loved ones.

The rest of the first floor has a large kitchen for meal prep, and an open backyard. Minor said The WARM Place is designed this way on purpose 鈥� people need to feel welcome. That鈥檚 been especially true heading into year three of a pandemic.

鈥淚 think connection is the key piece for a lot of people,鈥� Minor said. 鈥淭hey need a community of people to support them, not judge them, and just be present.鈥�

A rug with colorful squares is surrounded by black chairs, with walls covered by children's artwork. — Each room in The WARM Place has a memory wall, where children can bring pictures of their loved ones to display. "One of the things that we want to do is to create a safe environment for children to feel comfortable to share," said Program Director Dana Minor. "Sharing is really important and is honored in this space."

Peer support groups are led by volunteer facilitators, who take children through age-appropriate activities to process different emotions, like sadness or anger.

鈥淲hat鈥檚 so great in a group setting is it really helps to validate some of the feelings that they have,鈥� Minor said. 鈥淚t helps them to realize they're not alone.鈥�

The organization also has a licensed clinical therapist on staff who oversees the groups and is ready to step in if a kid is having a really hard time.

鈥淎nother thing that we often talk about is to meet people where they are,鈥� Minor said. 鈥淚f they're having a rough day, they're having a rough day, that it's not something that we need to fix. It's something to be present, and really feel honored and privileged to be able to bear witness to what they're going through.鈥�

A room with black chairs on checkered carpet, with a white board and mural of jungle animals on the walls. — Program Director Dana Minor said the organization shifted to online and drive-through models of support during the COVID-19 pandemic, but the realities of loss and community support have remained the same. "There's been a lot of different things that we've learned that I think that our families have really appreciated," Minor said.

Processing grief is 'allowing yourself to be in the moment'

The WARM Place鈥檚 approach is in line with work grief counselors do one-on-one with their pediatric clients. Melodi Parker, a therapist in Desoto who specializes in grief counseling, said kids, just like adults, need space to process.

鈥淪ometimes when people say, 鈥極h, kids are resilient, they'll just bounce back.鈥� Sometimes they don't easily bounce back,鈥� Parker said. 鈥淭hey have the same questions: Why did this happen? Is it going to happen to me next? What is life going to look like now this person is gone?鈥�

Parker said some signs of grief in children can manifest as anger and withdrawing, but also as emotional insecurity and clinginess. Changes in behavior, including wetting the bed, are also normal depending on the age range.

A wall of framed quilt squares, each individually made by a family or child to remember their loved ones. — A wall of quilt squares greets people walking into The WARM Place for the first time. "Each family created a square in memory of their loved ones," Minor said.

The pandemic has also been loss on a large scale for people, she said, whether that鈥檚 loss of a loved one or loss of routine.

鈥淭here are so many different layers to this, it is overwhelming,鈥� Parker said. 鈥淸It鈥檚 important] to have conversations within your families, within your support circle. If you鈥檙e afraid, it is okay. Who would have ever thought in a million years that this would happen? I know I never thought this would happen.鈥�

She said the most important thing is to be with the feelings, whatever they are, and try not to dismiss them.

鈥淚t's allowing yourself to be in the moment,鈥� Parker said. 鈥淲hat can I do right now in this moment to get through this day so I can get to tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.鈥�

Erica Geisel holds a picture of her family: two small kids and her husband, on the beach with the blue waves behind them. — "Even as a parent grieving, you don't have those resources available," said Erica Geisel, after her husband died suddenly in the fall of 2020. "You never can prepare for something like that."

A place where you can be yourself

For Erica Geisel, getting through this past year was possible because of The Warm Place. She and her kids found more ways to cope.

鈥淚 feel like that's where they feel like they can be themselves, because they don't have to hide anything, they don't have to pretend,鈥� Geisel said. 鈥淭he other kids around them and families know their story. And they're just wide open.鈥�

Her daughter starting using art to express how she was feeling, drawing family portraits or images of herself.

鈥淏efore, honestly, they would tell me, 鈥業 don't want to talk about it mommy,鈥� or 鈥楴ot right now,鈥� because they were feeling sad,鈥� Geisel said. 鈥淎fter going to The WARM Place, she would tell me more all about it. [She鈥檇 say] 鈥業 was feeling sad. I missed daddy.鈥� And that sparked a conversation that we would have.鈥�

A wall of photos of Erica Geisel's children and family, leading up the staircase to the second floor of her home. — "They have their good days and their bad days," said Erica Geisel of her kids. "The WARM Place will meet them where they're at, not where they think they should be. Or how they should be feeling by now."

And Geisel changed, too. At first, she鈥檇 sit silently as other people shared. Now, she鈥檚 open with her kids and herself about how she鈥檚 feeling.

鈥淚鈥檝e always been very independent, so it was very difficult and humbling to ask for help,鈥� Geisel said. 鈥淏ut I learned to do that. And oh my goodness, it was a pivotal point. I didn't feel like I was drowning. I just felt a little bit above water, but that was enough air to keep me going and keep me afloat.鈥�

She now has a community, and a group chat with other parents for advice. She鈥檚 grateful that The WARM Place is helping to teach her kids how to ask for help, too.

鈥淵ou can't change what happened, unfortunately, but you can make a difference going forward,鈥� Geisel said. 鈥淚t normalizes how it's okay to seek help. You're not alone.鈥�

And as new families come into The WARM Place, Geisel gets to throw them a lifeline like the one she found in 2020.

Got a tip? Email Elena Rivera at erivera@kera.org. You can follow Elena on Twitter .

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