Singer-guitarist Ben Kweller was months shy of his 16th birthday when life took a dramatic turn and he found himself being hyped as rock鈥檚 next big thing.
Years later, in a heartbreaking parallel, his son Dorian, a budding singer-songwriter, died at age 16 in a car crash in 2023 near the family鈥檚 home in Dripping Springs, outside Austin.
鈥淭here鈥檚 a lot of symmetry with me and Dorian,鈥� says Kweller, who鈥檚 now 43. 鈥淭he path he was on with his music, it was almost like a full circle. I saw a lot of myself in him.鈥�
Kweller pours his grief, shock and anguish into his seventh studio album, Cover the Mirrors, due out May 30, which would have been his son鈥檚 19th birthday. He named the album after a centuries-old mourning ritual.
Yet for all its somber tones, Cover the Mirrors is cathartic at times: 鈥淥ptimystic鈥� may be the most gleeful song ever written about depression.
I spoke with Kweller by phone from a tour stop in Roanoke, Va. His tour arrives in Dallas on Friday, May 2.
Our conversation has been edited for clarity.
In 1996, your Greenville, Texas, band Radish signed with Mercury Records during the Great Post-Grunge Bidding Wars. The New Yorker even dubbed you 鈥渢he future of rock and roll.鈥� But Radish鈥檚 album sold poorly, and the group broke up. How do you remember those strange days?
Like most precocious teenagers, I just wanted to be taken seriously and treated like an adult, even though I didn鈥檛 know a lot about life yet. A few years (after Radish), it was very cringey, like, 鈥淥h my God! It was just my high school band, but it was plastered in big magazines!鈥� But now, with so many years removed, I鈥檓 proud of what I was able to achieve as a young kid. The dream of living the rock 鈥榥鈥� roll thing and touring, it really came true. I look back with a smile on my face.
I was so sorry to hear about Dorian鈥檚 death. Are you comfortable sharing what he was like, as a person and a musician?
He really was always just such a happy, very easygoing person. A friend to everyone. He just saw the world as this fun, beautiful place.
We were very different, but similar in a lot of ways. Musically, he started with what we (Kweller and his wife Liz) would play around the house. But then he made beats on his computer, and he鈥檇 also explore the fringes of artsy atonal stuff. He was super into hip-hop and really cool subgenres I didn鈥檛 know about, but he was similar to me where he could switch between, like, high-energy punk rock stuff and folky Nick Drake-type stuff. Great melody and lyrics were paramount to him. Eventually, we鈥檙e going to put together a full-length album of songs he wrote.
鈥淥ptimystic鈥� is so exuberant, but it鈥檚 also a portrait of someone frozen in pain. What can you tell me about that tune?
In a song like 鈥淥ptimystic,鈥� I鈥檓 just sitting there alone, in the barn, and I have my Marshall amp turned up really loud and I鈥檓 feeling 15 again, going through all these emotions, oscillating between crying and laughing.
You sing 鈥渓aughing is a waste of time鈥� and 鈥渓iving is a waste of time鈥� in the song 鈥淒epression.鈥� Have you gotten to the point where you can enjoy life again?
Yeah, I鈥檓 there. The most memorable point was a week after (Dorian) died, and me and Liz and Dorian鈥檚 younger brother Judah were sitting in the kitchen and someone says something and we all just start cracking up hysterically. Then we look at each other and realize, like, 鈥淲here鈥檚 Dorian?鈥� and then the blood drains from our faces.
That first laugh without him is this strange conundrum, because you feel guilty. You feel like it would be rude to ever be happy again. But you also realize he鈥檇 want you to be happy forever.
I was a little nervous about putting 鈥渓iving is a waste of time鈥� in there, but I just went for it. That really just came out of me, and I feel like sometimes you have to leave those things in.
For 鈥淜iller Bee,鈥� you teamed up with the Flaming Lips to pay tribute to musician Nell Smith, a Lips collaborator from Canada who died in a car crash last year at age 17. How did the song come about?
It was one of these 鈥渕eant to be鈥� situations. Wayne Coyne from the Lips reached out and said, 鈥淚鈥檇 love to put you in touch with Nell鈥檚 mom and dad,鈥� and Liz and I started this friendship with them over Zoom. We were a year and a half ahead of them in the (grieving) process, and they just wanted a peek behind the curtain, like, 鈥淲ill we ever be normal again?鈥� We were able to help. It truly is this awful club none of us wanted to be in, but we鈥檙e in it, and we鈥檙e rolling with it.
What was so interesting is that while Nell and Dorian never knew each other, they were like real soul twins. They both marched to the beat of their own drum. They didn鈥檛 get swept up in the pressures of social media to act a certain way, or have certain possessions. Those two kids did not give a s--- about any of that stuff. 鈥淜iller Bee鈥� is from the perspective of the kid who is misunderstood and different, but it鈥檚 almost like a badge of honor to be a little different.
You mention being part of 鈥渢his awful club.鈥� Other musicians have also addressed the death of their children, like Eric Clapton (鈥淭ears in Heaven鈥�) and Nick Cave (the album Ghosteen and the book Faith, Hope and Carnage).
(Singer) Kevin Morby sent me the Nick Cave book, and it was very powerful. Reading his book, I鈥檓 like, 鈥淥h wow! This is me!鈥� You know? My journey has been very similar to his. I think my connection to God, or the world of spirituality, has increased a ton, as it did for Nick.
You鈥檝e been recording for over 30 years. Is there a song on Cover the Mirrors where you tried a new approach?
Yeah. 鈥淭rapped.鈥� It was a song that Dorian was writing before he died. A few weeks before the car crash, I heard him in his bedroom, singing this chorus and melody, and I walked in and I鈥檓 like, 鈥淒ude! That鈥檚 so good! What is this?鈥� He鈥檚 like, 鈥淚t鈥檚 just this song I鈥檓 working on.鈥� And so I sat down on the bed and grabbed another guitar and we just kind of strummed through it, making voice memos as I was helping him a bit.
When he died, and I started putting together ideas of what this album could be, I kept thinking about 鈥淭rapped.鈥� So I listened back to the voice memos and decided this song is too good to leave unfinished. So I tried to finish it. It鈥檚 literally a co-write with Dorian. Right now, it鈥檚 my favorite song on the album.
How to get help: If you or someone you know is in a mental health crisis, call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
Details
With opening act Cheese Touch at 8 p.m. Friday, May 2. Echo Lounge & Music Hall, 1323 N. Stemmons Freeway, Dallas, $41.75 and up. .
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